


My soul was lost in darkness, yet you found me in the night

by Maria_and_her_books



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Siblings, Trauma, and a bed, coming to terms with fears and feelings, inevitable sharing of a room, slow, soft, the hargreeves go on a holiday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 19:56:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18858007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maria_and_her_books/pseuds/Maria_and_her_books
Summary: Ben watches as his brothers heal. And love.





	My soul was lost in darkness, yet you found me in the night

There were upsides to being a ghost. 

Not many, but there were some.

Being able to observe once siblings unnoticed for one.

Ben had sighed over the years when watching his brother's antics.

Had cursed him out went he set out on his destructive path.

But now he had a ringseat to something good for once.

\-----------------------------------------

It had been Luther's idea. 

Of course it had been. 

Ben had to admit the intention was good but taking their dysfunctional family to a remote cabin where all their usual coping-mechanisms and distractions would be unavailable? It wasn't exactly a testament to Luther's social skills and insights in the human mind. 

They were literally in the deep into the woods where no-good scum were to be found to use justifiable violence against as an outlet for frustrations. No world crazier and more hectic than a frantic and world-weary mind.  
But at least one center had gone with them: Grace had quite unexpectedly requested to go with. Delighted Diego had arranged a truck for the recharging station and forgone all objections. 

And after that it had come as no surprise that Pogo also wanted to come to 'keep an eye on the fragile health of my mistress'.

The last-minute additions to their number had meant that there weren't enough rooms in the house Luther had rented them but Allison and Vanya had readily enough decided to share so Grace could have a place to herself. 

Five had been almost fast enough in picking up Klaus' bags with his own to go unnoticed. 

Almost. 

Which left Diego to room with Pogo since Luther would need a room to himself seeing how he'd need two beds to support his massive frame. 

Diego wondered for a moment whether he should be offended by the arrangements being made without his consultation but figured that Pogo was a decidedly less stressful roommate than Klaus or Five.

Completely on board with the plan he clapped the bewildered Klaus on the back and locked the door behind him to forgo any possibility of his brother following him. 

Ben too had blinked at Five's course of action and had swiftly gone after him to see Five scan the room, cast a critical eyes at the exits and then putting Klaus' bags on the bed furthest away from the door.

Interested he watched as Five made a dash from his own bed to Klaus' to the window. It looked like Five was checking whether he could get to Klaus fast enough to get him out too in case of an assault.

It was an oddly endearing action, Five looking out for Klaus is his own way strangely comforting.

But Ben's soft heart hurt when he saw how Five kept his packed bag within reach next to his bed, shoes placed beside it, knife under his pillow.

Klaus' entrance made Five straighten up, feigning an air of innocence and indifference.

Klaus didn't even seem to notice that he'd been assigned a bed, he just grinned at Ben and made a comment about having lucked out with a roommate. 

Klaus pulled out a chair for Ben to sit on then started to root through his suitcase, chatting cheerily with his ghostly brother while hanging out several skirts and tops.  
Five didn't bat an eye at Klaus' conversations with Ben. On the contrary, following Klaus' cues he managed to address his questions meant for Ben at the right patch of empty air, pressing Klaus to vocalize Ben's answers to him. 

Their in sync eye-roll when Klaus unearthed a rather garish shirt from his seemingly bottomless bag making the seance laugh infectiously. 

It felt...normal. And for that Ben was immensely grateful, Five treating him as a living, breathing addition to their company.

Of course normalcy was too much to ask for for an extended period of time and that night Ben was firmly reminded just exactly how messed up and damaging their childhood had been. 

Helplessly Ben watched as Klaus cried in his sleep, silent tears spilling on his pillow. 

Only when he terrified started to whimper and protest against the horrors of the ghosts who wouldn't leave him alone, Five woke. 

He went from sound asleep to prepared to face dangers unknown, with wide eyes frantically scanning the room; one leg already out of bed, knife in his hand in the blink of a eye.

The moment he saw what had woken him, his demeanor changed however and hesitant he hovered next to Klaus' bed, one hand outstretched to the seance's shoulder. The knife had vanished but that was the only thing that changed for a few long heartbeats.

Then, like he'd been shocked, Five stuttered into action, the course of his hand changing as he moved closer to the bed on silent feet. With the softest of touch he wiped away the tears from Klaus' cheek but nevertheless the caress woke the seance up. 

Panicky bolting upright Klaus found Five and Ben next to his bed and wretchedly reached for both of them. The fear and heartbreak as his hand passed right through his ghostly brother was a brutal knife through Ben's heart and with sad eyes Ben saw Klaus' other hand clench desperately tight in Five's pajamas. 

The hand that had been reaching for Ben was now poignantly feeling for Five's heart. Trembling fingers scrambled to open the top buttons to urgently feel for warm, living skin.

Undamaged skin.

No fatal gunshot.

Shakily, as if not completely reassured that Five was real and alive, Klaus pulled the unresistant assassin closer and pressed a soft kiss to Five's chest.

And then, with Klaus sitting down and Five still standing he broke down, arms tightly around Five's waist, forehead against his chest.  
Tears soaked Five's pajamas as Klaus sobbed.

Quietly. 

Like someone who had to hide their crying since they were very little.

Five tentatively put his hand in Klaus hair, his other hand a warm and steady pressure against Klaus' neck. 

Unable to help Ben watched them, watched as Five let Klaus take his comfort. 

Ben wondered about Five's gentleness: that Five knew about the dire need to reassure himself of the reality and corporeality of loved ones wasn't too bold an assumption Ben supposed. 

Five clearly knew about the compulsion for a grounding touch after nightmares, deprived of it himself he might have been for decades though.

Finally Klaus drew back, his voice brittle as he avoided Five's eyes, "Well, that's one way to ruin those ugly pajamas, I don't think the mascara will was out. I'm sorry to say.."

"Klaus," Five interrupted him solemnly, "I know what it's like to see loved ones death. In my nightmares or for real, it makes no difference. " He sounded lost and mournful.

At that Ben wished he could hug Five like Klaus did, clinging to their brother like he could disappear again at any moment. 

Finding a semblance of solace for their broken souls in the secret hours of the night.

\-----------------------------------------

There had been no going back to sleep for either of them. 

The house had been silent around them, still quiet, not too surprising considering it was more like late night instead of early morning.

Five made coffee, shoving a cup in Klaus hand and then gestured to the door. Together they went and sat on the porch. 

Five teleported away after a few moments to return with a warm blanket. They huddled close under it, their breath visible in the chilly early morning air, but comfortable and warm in their shared haven.

Sipping their coffee they watched the stars fade and the world come to life. In the serenity of early dawn all sound a raucous noise.

"Even the birds were gone," Five remarked quietly, eyes fixed on his cup of coffee. "Everything used to be so quiet." 

Klaus snickered when Five grouchily continued, "They are loud, can't they wait a bit till it's light at least?!"

"Sprechen kommt von Natur aus, Schweigen durch Verstehen."

For that Five swiped Klaus' cup of coffee .

\-----------------------------------------

They'd decided, well Diego has insisted, that Mom would have a holiday too, no chores, no days spent in the kitchen. She'd have time to enjoy the views.

Considering who they were and what lives they had led thus far they'd quickly determined that none else of them was equipped to cook for a large group, so for the afternoons they had agreed on outdoor cooking.

Five had almost absentmindedly build the fire for the barbecue up and Ben was harshly reminded of the reality of Five's post-apocalypse life: no fire meant no way to heat tinned food that had long been over the due date and reduce the risk at food-poisoning. No warmth, no light. 

It broke Ben's heart a little to see Five's bewildered look when Diego put some more food on his plate before he had finished with his salad. The covert check of his siblings plates spoke volumes. 

Ben imagined there hadn't been an abundance of food in the apocalyptic wasteland. He had noticed before that Five ate sparsely, enough to fill his stomach and keep him healthy and going. 

Five was used to small rations and apparently it hadn't really sunk it that food was something that could be enjoyed in abundance sometimes.

That life was something that could be enjoyed in abundance too.

"Klaus," he drew his brother's attention, "Klaus, did you think about.. Five must never have had toasted marshmallows don't you think?"

Klaus tilted his head, a considering look in his green eyes as his shrewd mind quickly figured out Ben's underlying message, "That's a shame isn't it?"

He got up, casually pilfering the bag with candy and nonchalantly plunked down next to Five, slinging an arm around his narrow shoulders, "On the topic of knowing how to do everything mein Lieber, have you ever toasted marshmallows?"

Five didn't shrug of the arm, didn't blink away, didn't seem to have any objection to the contact at all actually. Frown on his brow he gestured at Klaus to hand over the bag, a brief uncertain flicker on his face.

Klaus pretended not to notice, just handed him a stick, fished some marshmallows out of the bag and proceeded to place them on his own skewer and held them over the open fire. 

Five was quick to follow his example, making it seem like he wasn't copying Klaus' actions religiously.

The surprise and delight at the first taste wasn't something he was able to hide though. Eyes closed he savored the bite, blissful smile on his face, dimples and all. 

"Good thing we didn't introduce him to peanut butter cup s'mores first,"Ben whispered. 

Klaus snorted, quickly covering up his laughter with the pretense of blowing at his own stick when Five's head turned towards him at the sound, gaze accusatory.

Feigning to interpret the stare differently Klaus nudged the bag between them closer to Five, "Alright, hoard away," he waved his skewer with a teasing smile, "these are mine." 

He stuffed all of them into his mouth at once, almost immediately regretting it as he burned his tongue. Five's soft joyous laughter was every reward though. 

\------------------------------------------

They'd gone for a walk together after dinner and Klaus had made Allison and himself flower-crowns from cow parsley and dandelions. With his bright green eyes shining with laughter and the sun bringing out his freckles he looked like happiness personified. 

Five's happiness that is. Ben caught Five looking Klaus' way more than once, a small content smile on his face. 

Five trailed his fingers over soft petals of poppies, his eyes following butterflies and bees.  
-No living creature- Ben thought. He'd come back to save the world with his knowledge of the apocalypse. But at what cost. Growing up in a harsh, lonely, silent, lifeless world had left Five old and yet so young, so naive. 

Dying at a young age meant Ben hadn't experienced a lot of things too. But at Klaus's side he had at least had a living world around him, had heard music, seen the sunrise and the stars.

When the dead felt sorrow for the living, one could only wish for softness, peace and happiness for such a pitiful soul.

\-----------------------------------------

The next night Klaus tried to shove his bed to the center of the room. Five raised an eyebrow, then, catching on to the plan, he helped Klaus push their beds together.

It would make it easier for the both of them to reassure themselves of reality and check whether the other one was alive.

Because if they were, their other siblings would be too. 

And Klaus being alive made Ben a reality too. 

Ben watched them sleep a little better.

Of course the nightmares came for both of them.

But this close Klaus noticed Five's restless sleep. The soft whimpering, the quiet tears.

And when Klaus reached over gently nudged Five awake Ben wasn't really surprised that Five's initial reaction wasn't violence. Five's small smile as he reached out to grip Klaus' hand was a comfort to see though.

He trusted Klaus with this, to see him like this, to be vulnerable like this. The tear-tracks still on Five's cheeks, his dark hair mussed and tremors running through his body. But his grip on Klaus' hand grounded him in reality and he drew comfort from that. 

Comfort and safety enough for Five to be able to close his eyes again and fall asleep holding Klaus' hand.

And Ben wondered whether Klaus realized... felt...loved?

\-----------------------------------------

Ben watched a Klaus who had been devastated after his return from Vietnam find peace of mind. Worked with him to gain confidence in and control over his powers. The cheery glittering facade he had been hiding behind was slowly but steadily rebuild as a solid sparkling tower of strength. 

And Five grew to be vulnerable. Dared to admit his own brokenness. Started to live, fully live this time. No desperate goal for him to achieve. Just live in the moment and find happiness in all the small things he'd never had.

Ben saw their smiles during the day, saw them find each other again and again. Saw them wanting, needing to share the small victories on their paths to recovery. 

And Ben was reminded of the quote that love is acceptance of the other, whatever he is. 

\-----------------------------------------

They inched closer to each other every night and Ben smiled and sat back to wait for the inevitable conclusion.

\-----------------------------------------

And then Ben noticed he wasn't the only one watching Klaus and Five.

Allison, a fond look on her face, stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Watching Five smile up at Klaus as Klaus handed him a plate of misshaped pancakes.  
Without making a sound she left unnoticed by the both of them.

Diego blocked Luther as he wanted to go outside to look at his beloved moon.  
Klaus and Five didn't hear the minor commotion. Not with both of them laying in the grass, Five gazing up at the night-skies, Klaus with stars in his eyes as he stared at Five.

Vanya timidly asked Klaus to scoot over a bit so she too could fit on the couch. Klaus put an arm around Five's shoulder as he moved. Five leaned in, sides pressing closed together.  
Vanya preferred the wing-back chair. Which was empty.

Mom looked as beautiful and serene as ever as she asked Klaus to dance with her in the afternoon. She softly closed the door behind her as she left the seance lost in the music, graceful and smooth as he danced on his own to the soft and jazzy music. No other audience than Five who seemed mesmerized by the elegant sway of Klaus body .

\-----------------------------------------

They had slept solidly through the night, no horrors of the past, no nightmares.  
Warm and comfortable Klaus opened his eyes to find Five wrapped up in his arms, his dark head on Klaus chest.

\-----------------------------------------

Ben gratefully watched their recovery and happiness, but this, this moment he'd stumbled upon was private. 

He didn't know how it finally had happened in the end but here they were. 

At last.

Five in Klaus lap, eyes closed and a hitch in his breath as Klaus kissed him again and again. Small, almost innocent kisses, a brief, tender touch of their lips. Five's hands holding on to Klaus' shoulders like a lifeline.

Ben didn't think Five had ever been kissed before; as he watched Five's endearing blush, the startled look at his own soft moan as Klaus deepened their kiss, tongue gentle but insistent probing Five's inexperienced sweet mouth, seeking entrance.

Klaus hand big as it splayed against the small of Five's back, deft in the way it untucked Five's shirt and skimmed over soft smooth skin. Five shuddered, his breath shaky and mouth wet and shiny as he slightly pulled back from Klaus to look at him with wide eyes. 

A stunned look on his oh so young face. 

Klaus waited, infinitely patient, heart in his eyes. Hand still but warm and secure on Five's narrow waist.

And then, eyes shining, Five surged up, fingers gentle but insistent on Klaus' cheek, pulling him downwards to claim his mouth in a bold kiss. One hand cradling Klaus' jaw, the other in his curls Five was lost to the world. 

With one last look at Klaus' charmed and delighted smile as he kissed Five with all his heart and full of hope, Ben left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd, please let me know if there are glaring grammatical errors ;-)
> 
> Come chat about this pairing at Discord Klive Server !


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